The Ultimate Cheat Sheet on pain
For every amazing thing that happens in life, there is always going to be pain.
There is the kind of pain that leaves you feeling empty, this is usually when you leave something behind, graduating from University and leaving your friends, leaving the workplace for new opportunities or leaving a familiar place for somewhere new.
There’s the kind of pain that hits you so hard in the gut that you struggle to breathe, a death of a loved one, your plans or your expectations being turned upside down.
There’s the sharp pain of making mistakes or something that doesn’t make you feel as good as you thought it would.
There’s the kind of pain that you only feel from betrayal and the pain of empathy that you discard so that you can support and help others as they face their problems.
People see pain as negative and I understand that, it’s not a nice feeling however if we do not experience it, we can’t experience the amazing feelings in life when things are going well and we are happy.
Pain means we are alive, everyone experiences it but there are ways that we can manage it better and stay strong in times where pain is a part of life.
1. View every challenge as a life lesson. – Whenever you are in a painful situation ask yourself: What am I meant to learn from this? Answers may include: Be better at communicating, be stronger, become more resilient, every situation will have different life lessons.
2. Remind yourself that you are not alone. – No matter how dire or hopeless your situation may seem at the time; you are not alone. There are others out there experiencing their own pain and the same emotions as you, there are also people out there that love you and will support you if they know the pain that you are in. When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone in this,” it is your mind selling you a lie. Ignore it and ask for help.
3. Focus on everything you have not things that you don’t. – You have what you have because of the choices you have made. The important thing in all of this is to find happiness in what you do have, all of the positives in your life. Hold on to these things and focus on them. You may not feel like you have much but you have your mind and your creativity, you have survived this long and you can move forward by building on the positives and getting rid of the negatives.
4. Trust in your inner strength– You are a living, breathing human being and that means you’re more powerful than your problems – you have the ability to change things happening in your life, and to change the way you feel about them.
6. Find a reason to laugh. – Laugh often. Find the humour in whatever situation you’re in. Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.
7. Ask positive questions. – If you ask questions that are negative, you will get answers that are negative. There are no positive answers to questions like, “Why me?” (why not you?) “Why didn’t I?” (because you didn’t) “What if?” (it didn’t) etc. Swap these for questions that push you in a positive direction. For instance, “What can I do to move forward?” “what can I do to change this situation?”
I know that pain is something we all go through however I hope this blog has helped you, even if it is in a small way.